I was so in tune with my boy and my body. Though I didn't have fluid - and his movements were so soft and gentle, I could count on them. I knew his pattern. He would wake me up in the middle the night - except this one. I checked his heart rate and it was slowing down. When I woke up on October 24, 2012 - I knew. I checked his heart rate with my doppler - silence.
I remember being calm. I remember crying. I remember being scared.
It has been 3 years since my boy made his way to me. I am heart broken. I am also happy. I am happy that I am his mother. I am happy that I chose not to abort - and I saw his beautiful face. The most handsome baby boy - that was my son. My Oliver.
Oliver has given my life so much meaning. He made me a mother. He made us a family. He is a big brother to a beautiful little sister and his new sibling in my belly. He is my everything.
I choose to celebrate his life while I mourn.
This journey is still just beginning - my life with him above.
His birthday is tomorrow, October 25th.
Happy Birthday my sweet baby angel.
I know your Uncle Ivan is celebrating with you.