Tuesday, January 13, 2015

'Hi mama - I love you'

I can always feel Oliver with me. I know he is around me. Especially since Olive came about. During her pregnancy and now that she is here, I know he is constantly with us.

Whenever I hear or see his name, I know he is saying
 'Hi mama - I love you'.

I love getting signs from him. They give me butterflies.

Jaxin never met Oliver. He was too little to understand what was going on. He does know now that the blue bear next to the urn is the Oliver bear. He has seen pictures of Oliver, as they are all over the house. With all of that, it's never been like him to talk about Oliver or say things like what he has recently.


About a week ago, he looks at me, points at my belly and says

Nina. Oliver is in your belly and we need to get him out.

{side note: he says Oliver like Oliber so it's even more adorable}

I recently miscarried another baby, so I like to think and strongly believe that Oliver and this new baby in Heaven are still very much in my presence and that Jaxin is able to sense that.

Then this past weekend, after we woke up and are in the living room, Jaxin runs over to Oliver's pictures on the wall and says

Nina, we have to go get Oliver. We have to go get him. It's almost 6 o'clock.

I asked him where is Oliver?
He says he is home.

I then tried to explain, as well as I could to an almost 4 year old that Oliver is Home. He lives with God in Heaven. He simply smiled and said 'yeaahhh'.


It amazes me and makes me happy that Oliver is still very much apart of our lives. I am beyond grateful that Jaxin, this beautiful little boy, talks to me about Oliver.

Jaxin is so protective over Olive and is such an amazing big cousin to her day in and day out. I know he would have done the same for Oliver.

I am so blessed to have my babies. My family dynamic is very not normal and I wouldn't have it any other way. {unless of course that other way was having Oliver here on my lap as I blog about this wild life of mine}

Oliver's name is brought up everyday - by me, my family, my friends, and even this wild toddler. It honestly makes me feel so great - I can't even properly express how it makes my heart feel.


I love you Oliver. 
I know you are with me 
I love that you find ways to tell me you love me too.